The 8 Easy Steps are self-help tricks crowd-sourced from dozens of women, medical practitioners, therapists, and sexual health doctors we interviewed. They are not meant to be a medical advice, but they helped dozens of women to connect to their body. Let us know how it went for you!
You may have had a fantastic sex education in your life. But if you are like most of women, you may still be unclear about your own anatomy. You may have also never looked at your intimate parts or even consider it’s “unclean” or “wrong” to do.
Well, it is super important you understand your body. It can help with a proper diagnostics and healing, tracking your pain, making adjustments with your partner and simply empower you to understand and connect to your own body better.
Exercise 1: Read
There are a numerous reliable resources online explaining female anatomy of the pelvic floor. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology website on pain during sex may be a good start to understand your vulva and vagina. To understand the whole pelvic floor area, you can see the visuals below and NCBI website for more scientific description.
A fantastic book “Come as you are” by Emily Nagorski, is the best book we found explaining recent research on female sexuality and intimacy, and how it differs from male sexuality. This is not a book about pain, but it is a science-based yet wonderfully written take and an easy-read on what, we believe, every women should hear about her sexuality. We are all normal. And all beautiful. With all of our modalities.
Exercise 2: Explore
Have you ever explored your own vulva and vagina? We strongly suggest understanding your own body as the first step in healing. And you know what? It is beautiful! Our Bodies Our Selves have a good guide on how to do the self-exam of your vulva and vagina. The two books we found helpful: Healing Pelvic Pain and Completely Overcome Vaginismus also have sections on self-exam and exploring your own beautiful body.
Exercise 3: Observe
Understanding your symptoms can substantially help in the diagnostics process. Try to track your pain:
- When does it occur? Do you feel pain primary during penetration (intercourse, tampon insertion, OBGYN speculum exam), or also during other activities (sitting, biking, horse back-riding, putting on jeans)? Does sex hurt more in certain positions? With a new partner?
- Where does it hurt more? Does it hurt at the opening of the vagina (during the entry) or in the deep muscles (with deep penetration)? If during the entry, where on the vaginal opening is the pain more substantial? Some experts suggest conducting a Q-Tip test at the entrance of your vagina. Imagine the opening of your vagina is a clock and using a Q-tip press different “hours” of the vagina opening detecting where you feel pain. One word of caution: we heard women misdiagnose themselves based on scary things found online. Do not do that 😊. Simply detect where the pain is and observe whether it is changing.
You can self-diagnose and track your pain with the questionnaire used by physical therapists available here.
