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Step 1: Commit to healing

Common does't mean normal

The 8 Easy Steps are self-help tricks crowd-sourced from dozens of women, medical practitioners, therapists, and sexual health doctors we interviewed. They are not meant to be a medical advice, but they helped dozens of women to connect to their body. Let us know how it went for you!

"In 2011, I finally found a doctor who referred me to a fantastic pelvic floor pain treatment. It was intimidating and scary. But after a few months of waiting and 4 months of therapy, I finally realized what my body was designed to do. "Oh, that's what movies are all about" - I thought after my first pain-free intercourse." My life has changed forever.

If your journey is similar to ours, you may feel intimidated, or frustrated and alone. The biggest obstacle we identified in healing the pain was a "withdrawal" that women are going through by pretending the pain doesn't exist and a belief that the pain needs to be tolerated. But there is a tribe for you. And there is a hope.

Wherever you are ...

You may not feel comfortable talking about your vagina, pelvic floor and sex-life and feel it is easier just to abandon the topic all together. You might have asked for help and felt dismissed. Your doctor might have told you to take Advil and drink wine and just relax. Your sister or mother might have made inappropriate jokes when you shared your pain.

You may have had dozens of anxiety-provoking conversations with your boyfriends on why the sex thing doesn't work. Maybe you suffer through and tolerate it. Maybe you stopped dating at all. Or maybe you are married. And want to have a child. But it's so painful you cannot be intimate with your husband. “Pain during intercourse, performance problems, and declines in sexual response and enjoyment are all much more common than you think. All can adversely affect your relationship to your partner ”. And most can be treated or, at least substantially improved, by some natural self-healing practice.

Commit to healing You

Wherever you are in the journey, the first step is to accept that your pelvic bowl - vagina, possibly vulva, and other organs- need attention and help. Maybe a professional help. But definitely your help. We need to get over our conditioning and accept that it as a part of our body - with muscles, tissues and nerves. And as every other part of our body - with muscles, tissues and nerves - it may be in pain and that pain needs attention and healing. In fact, your vagina is one of the most incredible parts of your body! It is magically designed to help you grow and give life, stretch and expand, self-clean, and feel good. (Clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as a penis on an average 1 cm-length!) Think about this. We are created and designed to connect to our pelvic bowl. And if it hurts, it needs your attention!

You are not broken.

And It's not all in your head.

“I would never talk about the fact that I feel pain and sometimes am unable have sex. I was sure I need to tolerate it. It's a part of being a women.” 75% of women experience pain during sex, as you can read in our previous blog. Yet, due to the stigma, limited public awareness and a lagging process of mainstream diagnostics, most of us never speak about this super common problem. If you experience pain with sex, remember that you are not alone. And you have the right to get support and treatment. It may not be a completely straight forward journey. (Women we talked to saw on average 6 doctors before they got the diagnosis.) But many of the conditions were completely and easily treatable. It is possible to get completely treated or at least decrease the symptoms substantially.

And you deserve it.